ATTACHMENT STYLES FOR ADULT RELATIONSHIPS

Attachment styles are typically developed early in your life and often remain the same throughout your life. Attachment theory has a long history and has been used to understand research. For adults, there are usually four attachment styles with certain traits or characteristics to categorize individuals. It is the behavior exhibited in a relationship, especially if the relationship seems to be threatened. Understanding how attachment styles can shape and impact your relationships can allow you to identify the patterns within your own behavior, how you view your partner, and how you might respond to intimacy. It can be an excellent tool for
clarifying what you might need in a relationship and the best way to overcome any issues you might face.

1. Anxious/Preoccupied):

Those with an anxious attachment style often view their partners as their better half or the thing that makes them complete. In all aspects, the mere thought of living without their partner can cause high levels of anxiety. In addition, those with this attachment style often seek approval, support, and responsiveness from their partner. A strong sense of abandonment is present, and safety is a priority. Being compassionate, and giving your partner attention, care, and responsiveness is imperative and can be seen as a ‘remedy’ to anxiety. This attachment style craves emotional intimacy.

2. Avoidant/ Dismissive:

This attachment style often consists of those who might view themselves as loners, strong, independent, and self-sufficient concerning their emotional level. They usually have high self-esteem and a relatively positive perception of themselves. In addition, they do not like to depend on others and vice versa, and they do not tend to seek support or approval in social relationships. They typically avoid emotional closeness and might suppress their feelings when faced with an emotionally-dense situation.

3. Disorganized/ Fearful-Avoidant:

In relationships, this attachment style often finds themselves partaking in ambiguous and possibly unstable behaviors. The partner and the relationship are perceived as the source of both desire and fear. They want the ability to experience intimacy, but they might experience trouble trusting others. In addition, their emotions are not known to be regulated, and they might avoid a potentially strong emotional attachment to save themselves from being hurt.

4. Secure Attachment:

Now, the attachment styles that have been previously mentioned are often referred to as insecure attachment styles. This is because they are made of characteristics that reflect the difficulties of maintaining a healthy relationship. However, unlike the attachment styles mentioned before, the secure attachment style alludes that a person is comfortable expressing emotions in a safe space. They can rely on their partner, and their partner can rely on them. The relationships are based on honesty, tolerance, emotional intimacy, and compassion. They thrive within their relationships but also on their own. Attachment styles are a great tool to utilize if you are at the beginning of a relationship or even if you are fully in one. They provide insight into your partner's needs and how you can adapt to them. Additionally, the attachment styles can give you an opportunity to see how you might operate in a relationship and the traits you might exhibit.

Words by: Erica Benton

Sources:

The Attachment Project. Attachment Styles and Their Role in Relationships, The
Attachment Project, 

Help Guide. How Attachment Styles Affect Adult Relationships, HelpGuide,

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